Bernig

So I've written down this whole list of things that I was going to blog about, that's just how passionate I really am about this! But I decided 10mins before this to change my mind.

I got home on Wednesday night and really just felt like looking at old photos of myself from the 90's (which were the sweetest of days). So I started at 1991 when I was born until I got to 1999. There were 100's of pictures and moments I'd completely forgotten about and it was all real emotional.

Looking back, I don't think at all that I've given my parents enough recognition or the thanks they deserve. They were always there and have done so much for me. I do love my parents. I hope I can do the same for my kids. I remember my dad telling me every now and then how excited and pumped he was that he had a son when I was born and how proud he was to be a dad.

So much has changed since then and stuffs happened, things have been said. By why did it have to change?? Why do I have to be legit crying as I'm writing this, I guess heaps of stuff is just hitting home and I'm grown up enough to understand more and be more aware. It's so easy to remember the times that suck and hurt instead of the great times. Then kinda disappointing to realize that they didn't really have to happen anyway.

When I look at photos of me as a kid, in so many of them, I'm just having the time of my life, care free. It's awesome what time can do, but also saddening. Not that I'm not doing awesome now, life is brilliant, Jesus is cranking and there are so many opportunities out there, but simply because of how things change, not always for the better.

Life's a journey, and I think I understand what God showed me at Huge! Camp on Saturday night. I'm stuck on a tiny island in the ocean and can only see water on every horizon. I know with everything in me that no matter what I've got to start swimming. Who knows where or for how long, I just am. Yet I find myself still standing on the island, why?! There's things I need to do before I can do what I want to do, if that even makes sense.

I guess I do have a softer side and can get emotional. There's so much more I could say. Makes me think, a lot. I blame it on reading Mollie's blog before doing this! Haha, but not really, it's from the heart!